When the Job Search Feels Like It's Breaking You

Let’s be honest: job hunting can feel like a grind.

• You send out applications and hear nothing.

• You get through multiple rounds of interviews, only to come in second place.

• Or you scroll through posting after posting until all the words blur together.

If you’ve been there, you know the toll it takes. Rejection after rejection chips away at your confidence. Even strong women start to wonder: “Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I should give up.”

I call this job search fatigue. And it’s real.

Why Your Mindset Matters

When you’re discouraged, it’s easy to slip into negative self-talk:

• “No one wants me.”

• “I’ll be stuck forever.”

• “I was foolish to think I could do this.”

These thoughts sneak in, and before you know it, they’re running the show. But here’s what I know: negativity doesn’t get you hired. It drains you, makes you show up smaller, and convinces you to settle.

The first step to breaking free is catching yourself in the spiral and rewriting the story.

Instead of: “No one wants me.”
Try: “These roles weren’t the right fit. What’s my next move?”

Instead of: “I’ll be stuck here forever.”
Try: “This is taking longer than I hoped, but I’m still moving forward.”

You don’t have to pretend it’s easy--you just need to remind yourself you’re still in the fight.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help

Sometimes, your own effort isn’t enough--and that’s okay. Job search discouragement gets worse when you try to carry it alone.

You can:

• Talk with family and friends who can encourage you and lighten the load.

• Reach out to former colleagues who may have tips, connections, or simply empathy.

• Work with a career coach who understands both the strategy and the emotions of a job search.

• Seek support from a counselor or therapist if the weight feels too heavy.

Asking for help can feel vulnerable, but it’s also one of the strongest steps you can take.

Gather Tools That Support You

Sometimes an outside perspective helps you rest. Here are a few resources you may find encouraging:

• Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant--Finding resilience and possibility after loss and setbacks.

• Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans--Using design thinking to create a career and life you actually want.

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown--Letting go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embracing who you are.

• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck--Understanding the difference between fixed and growth mindsets and how it changes everything.

Mental Health Organizations:

• Anxiety & Depression Association of America

• National Alliance on Mental Illness

• Mental Health America

• National Network of Depression Centers

Moving Forward

Changing how you think and feel in the middle of a hard job search isn’t easy. Some days it may feel impossible. But the work of shifting from “I’ll never get there” to “I’ll take one more step” matters--not just for your next job, but for your own well-being. 

The Bottom Line

The job market is tough right now. But tough doesn’t mean impossible. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. And you are not alone.