What Launching Elavare Taught Me About Gratitude

This year has looked different than I expected.

Back in March, I left my job so I could focus on Elavare full time. I knew it was the right choice. But right doesn’t always mean easy. Since then, I haven’t taken a paycheck. I don’t have health insurance. And there have been plenty of moments when I've wondered how everything would work out.  

I wish I could say I’ve gone through this year with perfect confidence and gratitude. But that hasn’t been the case. There have been days I’ve doubted myself. Days when I’ve felt I should be further along. Days when the slow, behind-the-scenes work has felt discouraging. And in the middle of those ups and downs, I’ve realized something I didn’t expect: Gratitude isn’t a reward for getting through the hard. It’s something that carries you through it.

Gratitude has shifted from something I feel after things go well to something I notice while I’m still figuring it all out. It’s helped me pay attention to the good that’s already here. To the progress that’s easy to overlook. To the ways this mission is growing, even on the slow days. And honestly, it’s helped me soften the pressure I put on myself—especially around the Elavare Community.

The community platform isn't launched yet because I still have to figure some things out. I had a vision for how fast it “should” go. I thought I’d have everything built by now. I told myself that if I were better, smarter, or more organized, it would all be finished already.

But I’m learning that meaningful things take time. Safe, supportive spaces take time. And I don’t want to rush something that deserves care and intention. Here’s what I hope you hear in all of this:

You don’t have to have everything finished to feel grateful. You don’t have to feel confident every day to feel grateful. You don’t have to be “there yet” to appreciate where you are. If you’re a mom who’s rebuilding, returning, or reimagining what’s next…and you feel slow, unsure, imperfect, or behind…

You’re not alone. I’m learning as I go, too. I’m working through doubt, too. I’m trying to let gratitude make the hard days lighter, too.

And if gratitude can find me in a year that’s been full of uncertainty, unfinished plans, and a slower timeline than I hoped for…I believe it can find you, too. Not because everything is perfect. But because you’re still moving. You’re still trying. You’re still becoming.

And that is something to be grateful for.