When You Don't Believe You Are Capable of More

Going back to school for my MBA at 45 was almost harder than my divorce.  Almost. 

Because going back to school meant I had to believe I was smart enough, and I had believe I was capable of more.  More than "just" a mom.

When I went back to school for my MBA at 45, I was a single mom of five with an 18-year gap on my resume. I was a marketing coordinator applying to an executive program. I couldn't help my teenager with her Algebra homework some nights. How could I possibly get an MBA?  I was certain I didn't belong there.

But someone else was certain I did.

My former bishop told me to apply. My brother Bryan didn't ask if I was capable, he just said, "Two years are going to go by whether you're in school or not. Why not get your MBA?" So I applied. And somehow, I got in.

I sat in that first class convinced they had made a mistake. So I did the only thing I could do. I showed up anyway. Through the late nights, the doubt, and the constant feeling that I was behind. Until one day I realized I wasn't trying to catch up anymore. I was keeping up. 

That program didn't just teach me business. It taught me that I was capable of more than I thought. And eight years later, the Elavare Foundation gave scholarships to ten single mothers--women who qualified in every way but weren't sure they did.

If you're in that place right now, here's what you can do:

5 Mindset Shifts When You Don't Believe in Yourself

1. You don't have to feel ready to start.  Confidence doesn't come before the work. It comes during it. Apply for the program. Send the email. Sign up for the class. Do the thing before you feel ready, because that feeling may never come on its own.
2. Let people believe in you before you believe in yourself.  This one is hard for us. We don't want to seem like we need help. But the people who saw potential in me before I could, like my bishop, my brother, and a former boss I hadn't spoken to in nearly two decades, they changed the direction of my life. Let people in. Let them see you. You don't have to have it all together for someone to see what you're capable of.
3. Stop measuring yourself against where you think you should be.  I lost a scholarship after my freshman year because I got a 3.7 GPA. I spent years thinking that meant I wasn't smart. It just meant I was measuring myself against the wrong thing. You're not behind. You are exactly where your path has taken you, and that path has given you things a classroom never could.
4. Your story is not a liability. It's your credibility. The scholarship recipient who wrote to me said it meant more coming from someone who had been in her shoes. She wasn't looking for someone who had it easy. She was looking for someone who understood. Your hard seasons don't disqualify you. They connect you to possibility.
5. Start before the kids go to bed, before the bills are paid, before life slows down. It won't slow down. It never does.  Believe me, I thought the same thing. So start now, in the middle of everything that isn't going right in your life. That's where I started. That's where most good things begin

Two years are going to go by whether you start or not.  Time passes either way. The only question is who you decide to become while it does.

Read additional blog posts here.  We have over 50!

Read additional blog posts here.  We have over 50!