5 Confidence-Building Habits for Women Returning to Work

When I decided to step back into the workforce after years away, I wasn't focused on "building confidence." I was just trying to get through the day without feeling like I didn't belong.

I applied for things even when I wasn't sure I was ready. I said yes to informational interviews that made me nervous. I started small--updating my resume, reaching out to one person, signing up for one thing.  At the time, I didn't think I was building confidence.

But looking back, that's exactly what it was. Confidence often requires evidence and when you take action (even if it's small), you begin to collect proof of what you're capable of.  And that proof is what confidence is built on.  If you're returning to work, or even just thinking about it, here are 5 habits that will help you get there:

Here are 5 habits to build while returning to work:

1. Do one uncomfortable thing each week. It doesn't have to be big. Send a message to someone you don't know. Attend a local event. Learn about LinkedIn. Each small act tells your brain: I can do hard things. Over time, you begin to see that you are more capable than you think.

2. Stop waiting until you're ready. Ready is a myth. A lot of women returning to work are waiting for the perfect time. When the kids are older, when they've taken one more course, when they feel more current. But what I know is that the doing is what makes you ready. Start now, even if you are unsure of yourself.

3. Examine your self-talk. Pay attention to what you say to yourself when things feel hard. Women who have been out of the workforce for some time often hear a small voice telling them that they're behind or they don't belong anymore. That voice is lying. Notice it and challenge it. Replace it with something that's true: I have real skills and important life experience. I have something to offer.

4. Celebrate the small wins. Don't wait until you're hired to feel good about your progress. Finished your resume? Way to go! Had a great conversation with someone in your field? That's worth celebrating! When you acknowledge small wins, you train yourself to notice evidence that you're moving forward, not just evidence of how far you have to go.

5. Build a small circle of women who are doing the same thing.Confidence is contagious. When you're around women who are navigating similar transitions and who share about the hard parts and are still showing up, you know you aren't alone. You stop feeling like something is wrong with you and start feeling like you can keep going. 

Confidence doesn't come first--courage does. Confidence is what shows up after you've been brave enough to try.

If you're reading this and feeling the gap between where you are and where you want to be, start with one habit.  Just one. This week.  You haven't lost who you were. You've just been somewhere else for a while. And now you're coming back. You've got this!

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