The Invisible Work Moms Do During the Holidays

This time of year, most of us are juggling more than we want to admit.

There are gifts to wrap, groceries to grab, events to attend, texts to respond to, and relatives who need a gentle emotional buffer. You might be trying to keep up with traditions, or letting some of them go this year. You might be remembering people who aren’t here, or trying to create joy for people who are. Either way, it’s a lot.

And if you’ve had a moment recently where you stopped mid-task and thought, “What am I forgetting?,” there’s a good chance the answer wasn’t a thing. It was a person. It was you.

As moms, we’re often the ones making the list and checking it twice…for everyone else.

• We remember the matching pajamas.
• We pack the teacher gifts.
• We send the text to remind siblings what time dinner is.
• We know which kid doesn’t like potatoes and which cousin gets overwhelmed when things get too loud.

Here's a Thought: What If You Came First?

Not always. Not every day. But what if, just for today, you asked yourself:

• What do I need right now?
• What would feel good to say no to?
• What small thing would help me relax today?

Maybe it’s 30 minutes alone in your room with a book. Maybe it’s ordering dinner instead of cooking it from scratch. Maybe it’s skipping the last-minute errand no one will remember anyway. Or maybe it’s just giving yourself credit for how much you’ve done--without needing anyone else to notice or applaud.

This isn't about self-care, it's about self-respect.

I’m not talking about spa days or bubble baths (unless that’s your thing). I’m talking about remembering that you’re a person, too. That your thoughts, your health, your emotional well-being, your peace—deserve as much attention as the people you take care of every single day.

A few ideas you can try this week:

If you’re feeling a little forgotten, here are a few simple ways to shift back into view:

• Make a list just for you. Not of chores. Of what brings you joy, comfort, or clarity. Even one thing you can do this week for you.
• Say no—without explaining. Protect your energy without over-apologizing. “That’s not going to work for me this year” is enough.
• Let something be easy. Use paper plates. Skip the cards. Buy dessert. Delegate the group text.
• Rest without guilt. You don’t need to earn rest. You need it because you're human.

In case no one told you, you're doing a lot.

More than most people realize. More than you’ll probably give yourself credit for. More than you had energy for—but you did it anyway.

So before the year ends, before the holidays are over, before you pour more into anyone else… pause.  And remember yourself because you're worth being on the list.

Even if the list is short, even if the day is long, even if no one else says it—let me say it:

• You’ve done enough.
• You matter.
• You haven’t been forgotten.

And you don’t have to wait until January to come back into focus. No matter which holidays you are celebrating this year, I hope you will make Elavare an ongoing tradition.

 
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