How to Build a Network After Years at Home

One of the biggest mistakes I see mothers make when returning to the workforce is waiting too long to start building relationships.  We think we’ll network when we’re ready. When the resume is done. When we feel more confident. When we actually need a job. By then, it already feels uncomfortable, and urgent, and transactional.

People can feel that.  But the truth is, the best networking doesn’t happen when you need something. It happens long before that.  It happens when there’s no pressure and you really just want to connect.

When I went back to school to get my MBA, I wasn't sure exactly what I would do when I graduated. I wasn’t building a network of people who could help me get a job. I was just making friends and asking questions about their work, their experiences, and what they cared about. I followed up when I said I would. I stayed in touch over the years.

At the time, it didn’t feel like “networking.”

But those classmates became friends who are still part of my network today—people I can call on if I need career advice. They’re also the people I can go to if I need an introduction to others.

If you’re thinking about returning to the workforce, or even just exploring a new chapter, networking is the best place to start.

Here are 5 steps to networking:

1. Start with who you already know. Think about former coworkers, friends, neighbors, people from church, or other moms who have gone back to work. These are the easiest relationships to build on because there’s already some level of trust.

2. Reach out without an ask. This is where most people get it wrong. If the first message feels like a favor request, it creates pressure. Instead, keep it simple. Ask how they’re doing. Mention something you remember about them. Be curious about their work or life. When you don’t have an agenda, people relax and the conversation begins from there.

3. Ask good questions and listen. When you talk to someone, don’t try to impress them. Begin by trying to learn from them. Ask how they got into what they do, what they like about it, and what challenges they have. Listening builds trust faster than saying the “right” thing.

4. Stay in touch in small ways. You don’t need to stay in touch constantly—you just need to be consistent. Send a quick message when something reminds you of them. Congratulate them on a new job or milestone. Check in every few months. These small things keep the relationship going so it never feels like you’re starting over.

5. Give before you ask. If you want strong relationships, look for ways to help first. Share an article they’d find useful. Make an introduction. It doesn’t have to be big. When you become someone who adds value, people naturally want to support you when you need it.

Over time, you begin to realize that trust opens doors. When someone knows you, even a little, they are much more likely to think of you when an opportunity comes up. They are also more willing to make an introduction and give you advice when you need it.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s great, but I need a network now,” that’s okay. Just start. Reach out to people and let them know you’re exploring what’s next. Most people are more willing to help than you think.

And don’t be discouraged if it feels uncomfortable at first. It’s new and new things are always going to feel a little uncomfortable. You’ve got this!


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