Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

I've been setting goals since I was 4 years old (with my Dad's help). This year marks my 50th year of setting goals, and over time I’ve learned something important:

Most people don't struggle because they're bad at setting goals. They struggle because they don't have a strategy to achieve them. Here’s where many of us go wrong:

We set a bunch of goals.
We write them down.
We feel motivated.

That motivation feels good--it’s a real dopamine hit.

Then life gets busy.
The excitement fades.
And eventually, we forget the goals were even there.

The problem isn’t the goals themselves. It’s how we try to reach them. So before asking what you want to change in 2026, it helps to ask a better question:

How am I setting myself up to follow through?

What do you want to achieve next year?
What do you want to work toward?
Who do you want to become?

Katy Milkman, PhD, a professor at the Wharton Business School, teaches that we think the barrier to achieving our goals is that we just need to work harder. That you just need to push harder. But this is a lie. You don’t lack discipline. Change isn't about willpower. It's about strategy.

Learning how to change is a skill--and like any skill, it can be practiced and improved.

Professor Milkman has identified 7 barriers to change:

1. Not getting started – There is a time when we feel more motivated to make a change. New Year's is one of those times. So is every Monday, every first day of each month, the beginning of a new semester, and birthdays. Choose the fresh start day that is meaningful to you and make a change.
2. Impulsivity – We’re more likely to follow through when something feels rewarding right away. If the process toward your goal feels miserable, you’ll avoid it. Look for ways to make the action itself more enjoyable. Pair something you need to do with something you already like. Listen to a favorite podcast while exercising. Enjoy your favorite drink while working on job applications.

   If it’s rewarding in the short term, you’re more likely to stick with it long term.

3. Procrastination – Sometimes we need consequences, not motivation. That might mean putting money on the line, making a public commitment, or setting a deadline that matters to you. A small “cost” for not following through can be surprisingly effective.
4. Forgetfulness – Most people don’t fail because they don’t care. They fail because they forget. Instead of vague plans, make your goals specific:
   • When will you do it?
   • Where will you do it?
   • How will you get there?
   Simple checklists, reminders, and cues make a big difference. Involving another person can also help—accountability isn’t pressure, it’s support.
5. Laziness – We naturally default to whatever is easiest. So make the helpful behavior easier and the unhelpful behavior harder. Reduce friction where you can. Prepare in advance. Automate what’s possible. Build habits so you don’t have to decide every day—you just do it.
6. Lack of Confidence – It’s hard to pursue goals when you’ve been told (directly or indirectly) that something isn’t for you. Confidence grows through evidence, not pep talks. Start small. Learn as you go. Notice what you’re already doing well. Surround yourself with people who remind you that growth is possible. Sometimes confidence grows fastest when you help someone else who’s just a step behind you.
7. Conformity – Who you spend time with matters. Your environment shapes what you believe is possible. Seek out people who are working toward similar goals, or who are already where you want to be. Their progress can quietly reset what feels realistic for you. The free Elavare Community is a great place to spend your time. Surround yourself with others on a similar journey who can encourage you daily. 

Watch the entire Mel Robbins podcast interview here.  

I'm excited about 2026. Let's make it our best year ever!

 
Read additional blog posts here.